Unapologetically Me – Orie Rogo Manduli

“The greatest fear any human being has is that of being seen as they truly are”

Hon. Orie Rogo Manduli is one lady i have always looked up. I always found her to be a fearless woman; standing up for herself and always speaking her mind. A former model and rally driver, she has done what most considered a taboo and what many men term as too aggressive coming from a woman.

She says,“I’m rebellious, capable and different, i know it. I have never wanted to be anything else but Orie Rogo-Manduli. I’m bold and speak my mind without fear. i’m fastidious and never boring. I do not apologise for i am – you just have to learn to live with me. I have always been outspoken person who is never afraid to be different.”  

Fear is a jailer and its prisoner the man that cannot stand up against it.

Growing up, I lived by a certain set of rules that guided me on what was right and what was wrong. I lived by this set of rules never turning to the left or to the right. These are rules that were passed to me by my parents who have done a commendable job raising me and instilling in me good values.

As years went by, there was less of control from mum and dad. I started becoming my own person. I chose the kind of music I wanted to listen to, the kind of food I liked, my fashion style, hairstyle, friends, etc. I made my decisions.

But something unique happened during this period of self-discovery. I wanted to relate to my fellow age mates and form friendships with them. In order to achieve this, I had to put myself out there and hope that somehow, I’d find people I’d ‘click’ with.

You see, putting yourself out there is as risky as any other business. You constantly fear about the possible outcomes. Everything is unknown: will the like me? Will they reject me? Will I be awkward to them? Will we be friends?

Lady Justice Joyce Aluoch before presenting the Special Recognition Award to Hon. Orie Rogo Manduli at the Kenya Fashion Awards 2014

At this stage, our self-esteem is very fragile and can easily be bruised when rejected.

I have had fears, countless times! Dating as far back as when I joined Chogoria Girls’ Primary Boarding School (I’m a proud alumni of C.G.B.PS, btw). I suffered from both claustrophobia and enochlophobia. I always avoided the crowd. But in a land far away from home, how would I make it without friends? So I had to cope. I remember back then if you didn’t have a best friend (aka kipeo) you’d feel like an outcast. So the struggle to couple up was real. Let me not talk more about this but I had a couple of close friends!

Enter high school: Makueni Girls’ High School, the place that molded me into the person I am. What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger. For those who know my high school story, well and good and for those who don’t, perhaps I’ll share one day.

University wasn’t any different. I made friends and I lost some. And it’s at this phase of my life that I came to terms with the forces of nature. I learned that life has a way of aligning things to better your life. People come into your life so you can get an experience of having both the good and bad friends.

The long and short of this post is that, for every new level of your life, you’ll be faced with constant fear of what will happen if you don’t fit in. What if you don’t meet the standards of a certain group of people? What if you don’t match their style? What if you don’t talk like them? What if you don’t share their lifestyle? What if you don’t go to the schools they do? What if you don’t drive what they drive? What if they just don’t like you?

Hon. Orie Rogo Manduli and Lady Justice Joyce Aluoch take a selfie with the host of the Kenya Fashion Awards 2014

Fear is your worst enemy. It will jail you for a bigger part of your life if you don’t face it. Somehow, you’ll always be subject to someone’s opinion. If it’s not their way, it’s the highway. You ought to learn how to live your life on your terms. Hon. Orie Rogo Manduli, in an interview with Daily Nation in 20 said,

” I would like to be the first African to go to the space, but even if i do not get to do it, at least i have enjoyed my life and done it my way.”

Here are my top five (5) tips on facing your fears and being unapologetically you:

1. Know your standards. What can you take in and what can you not! If anything, including friendships and relationships, doesn’t level up to your set standards, drop it.
2. Choose friends wisely. Don’t be the DUFF of your clique. In fact, don’t even be in a groupie. Your friends should be people who want the best for you and support you; not putting you down and making you second-guess yourself on almost everything. Better yet, be your own friend first, and then others follow.
3. Develop a backbone. Learn how to speak your mind. If something doesn’t work for you, don’t compromise. Remember, you’re your own advocate. Consider your best interest when associating with people.
4. A day at a time. Yes, take things slow. If something is meant to happen, it surely will. Don’t force associations or friendships. Good things come to those who wait, including soul mates and best friends.
5. Connect with God. God is closer to us than our breath. He orders our steps. Through the Holy Spirit, he guides us to make good decisions. Remember Proverbs 3:5-6 “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean on not your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him; and he shall make your paths straight”

I hope that in a few days to come, you’ll break free from being fearful; that you’ll learn to be your own person; unapologetically YOU.

Xo,

Fran.

Check out our upcoming event happening on 13 August 2016, the Kenya Plus Size Fashion Weekend