Plus Size Sex: Getting Your Groove Back In The Sheets

Plus Size: Every BODY deserves PLEASURE

Plus Size or not, great SEX involves every part of you. The way that you view yourself affects how much you let go.

On a norm in the life cycle,  weight gain happens to the best of us. Actually, to most of us. While for some, THICK (plus size) got embraced naturally, sometimes it’s because you just had a baby or recently discovered Mr.Donut’s love at first bite, or just have been indulging in pasta and wine Eat, Pray, Love– style.

So, as a plus size who’s been there, here’s an action plan I think can get your mojo back and enjoy sex, because there’s no time like the present.

1. Take care of your body: It might be tempting to swear off carbs and hit the gym immediately, however you can, but what about right now? Sexiness has a lot more to do with how we feel than how we look, so shift your focus from your weight alone and think bigger: Are you due for a pedicure? How about a bikini wax? Are you feeding your body nutrients? And would a spray tan make you feel good? Take care of your body in all sorts of ways and spruce up what you can to feel good right now.
2. Talk about it.He might seem like the last person you want to point out your weight check to, but you should talk to your guy. Let him know what you feel and are like, and what he can do to help (for example, saying encouraging things to make you feel extra beautiful). Then, knowing you have his support, acknowledge to yourself that ultimately, self-confidence is your responsibility and it must come from you.
3. Change your self-talk.When negative thoughts come to mind, redirect them by saying to yourself: “This is my body and I’m grateful for it.” Keep doing this until you feel more accepting of what you look like. According to Plus Fabulosity CEO, Francisca Nyamu, “So much of our relationship with our body is spent in judgment, which creates shame and separation resulting in us walking around feeling broken. Shifting to kindness and offering ourselves self-love is what creates transformation and healing.”
4. Decide on what you want to do.You can keep this version of your body (plus size), or you can change it. Either way, pick a part of your body that you really struggle with and apologise to it for treating it badly. Focus on showing your body more appreciation in the future.
5. Get moving.And not just for the sake of staying chic. Instead of hopping on the treadmill, try shaking your hips at Zumba for a rush of positive fun, or hit a hot yoga class for a detoxifying sweat. If those options don’t interest you, you can always host a private dance party in your own home. (We dare you to not feel sexy while you’re dancing to Beyoncé’s “Flawless” in your underwear. No way, no how.)
6. Change the rules. The whole point of great plus size sex is to experience a pleasurable moment with someone you enjoy. That said, if you need to turn the lights off or keep your lingerie on in order to stay in the moment, that’s OK!
7. Remember, you deserve pleasure. Since the day you were born, your body has been changing. It’s never going to stop changing, either. So instead of resisting this fact, embrace it. This may not be your favourite season of your body’s journey, but don’t let that stop you from living a great life, having awesome sex, and going after what you want. Every time your mind drifts to “Ugh, I wish my thighs were smaller,” during sex, tell yourself “Stop that!” and stay in the moment. You can make your thighs smaller, but in this moment, you are being intimate with your guy, and you deserve pleasure. Continue to push negative, distracting thoughts out of your mind and let yourself enjoy the moment.